Have you ever made a list of the things you desired in life and kept that list in your purse/wallet and every day you read it once a day ?  Well, I did about four years ago, I decided to ask the “universe” for the things I most desired in life. I made my list and every single day I took it out and read it out loud to myself (you don’t want people to think you are a nut).  

            Here was my list:

VIVA HARTFORD! Produce a television show that would feature all the great things the City of Hartford has to offer.

A man that would love me and my children.

Acquire real estate

Develop  “Little Red Biker Chic”  ( a cartoon character)

That was it, for lofty goals since here I was a single mother of  two boys, working 9 to 5 , going home , cooking dinner and helping with homework  from Monday to Friday, day in and day out.  ¡Que vida! But it all changed when I decided to ask for what I wanted. Things started happening, I met Jose Vega. We started talking about the idea for Viva Hartford. I met Iya Tucker an artist and graphic designer, Brian Libert photographer and videographer.  My brother Danny designed the Viva Hartford logo which I put right next to my list. With absolutely no experience Jose Vega and myself spent many late hours after work  learning to edit  and just plain being frustrated when after many hours of this we would loose all our work because the editing equipment at  Hartford Public Access would just freeze and we had forgotten to save! That was a very hard lesson to learn. Save! Save damn it! Que dolor de cabeza…….

Meanwhile, I remained focused on my other lofty goals, item number 2 for example: The “Man” that would love me and my children.   I bought “How to Marry a Man after 35” which a Harvard MBA wrote based on a   business and marketing plan , “He is not that into you” which helped me not to make excuses for men (we women make too many excuses and we get in denial when men treat us badly) but that is another article.  My girlfriends told me, “Joyce, you are going through men like a “conveyor belt” when they would see me  out on the town with a different man.  I was on a mission, that was nothing because those had passed the first coffee date screening , I would know in 5 minutes if I would go out again. My girlfriends would tell me, “There are no men out there!”, I told them they were wrong; first you have to think  ABUNDANTLY and that it was a numbers game and make no excuses.  No excuses when they call you only once a week or when they feel like it, no excuses when they don’t want children in their lives, no excuses when “They are not that into you”, you go onto the next, why waste time with someone that doesn’t make you laugh, doesn’t makes you feel sexy,  doesn’t respect your independence and just doesn’t want a monogamous relationship ?  NEEEEEXXXXXXT conveyor belt time! Looking back I have to laugh. It was fun actually.

 I did not keep count but it felt like a hundred plus cups of coffee and about 50 second dates,  I met Dan.  Dan was into me! Dan called me everyday, did not mind when I had to postpone going out because I had to go film and edit VIVA HARTFORD,  he was funny and super sexy. Eventually he met my boys and they got along! And he had the same relationship goals I had.

      Meanwhile Viva Hartford was taking off and we were nominated and awarded the 2008 Governor’s Distinguished Advocates Awards in film. So on April 9, 2008  Jose Vega and I myself stood on the podium at the Legislative Office Building to receive this award alongside Hollywood Actor Gene Wilder, Pulitzer Prize winner Joan D. Hedrick and other distinguished contributors to Art and Culture who were also being honored that evening.

      Items 1 and 2 on my list had become a reality; VIVA HARTFORD was being  awarded and I was engaged. Soon item number 3 became a reality, in real estate it was a buyers market and it became feasible to acquire my first property so I did.  It was inevitable , it was on my list which I kept reading out loud to myself.  Item number 4 is still in the works, but I have no doubt it will  happen . I crossed out 1, 2 and 3 on my list. My list is getting shorter, soon I will be making a new one.

    By the end of the month I will be married, I just moved my college bound son to one of my properties, Viva  Hartford is going digital being viewed in Comcast…….

I would have never imagined this before I made my list and asked the “universe”.

You know what to do………GET GOING!

How do you celebrate Father’s Day and Gay month at the same time? Well it is easy actually, at least in my life.  My son’s godparents are gay men. Yes and it is official. When Andy was born, in the Virgin Islands I wanted his godparents to be active in his life.  I could not think of better godparents than Joe and Jose.  My Peruvian “Archie Bunker” father was dismayed ,”What about the madrina?” “No madrina, dad, just godfathers,” I replied. “!Hay Dios mio! Que escandalo!”,he said.

Aren’t padrinos supposed to be your best friends? Friends that you can trust?  Well, they are my best and trustworthy friends and that’s it. I called the synagogue and all the churches in St. Thomas and they all very politely said no. Then I called the Unitarians on the nearby island of St. John and they said yes!  My son Andy’s “water ceremony” was held in the gardens of   the then Boynes Hotel on top of Blackbeards Hill in St. Thomas. Sam Boynes had turned the Danish 18^th century home into a beautiful historic bed and breakfast.

Andy is 10 years old and throughout the years his godfathers have done what godparents usually do. Remember his birthday, holidays and taken him to sea aquariums, Broadway shows (The Beauty and the Beast), Spiderman at Radio City Hall, Rockefeller Center during the holidays and such. Last year Andy’s father died .  Myself and the children were in St. Thomas making the arrangements, I had sent all the people that loved my children’s father (Michael) an e-mail telling of his demise. A few hours later I get a phone call from my dear friends (compadres), they were very sorry that they could not be there for Andy as they were vacationing in Argentina at the moment, but as godfathers they let me know that   they  were taking their responsibility as godfathers seriously. Although they could not replace Michael , Andy could count on them always.

A year has passed since then and my compadres have been true to their word, Andy has many male father figures that care and  love him; Joe and Jose his godfathers, Abuelo,   Ash his 20 year old brother, his uncles Daniel, Bachi and Dan his soon to be step dad.

Life takes many turns and when one thinks that one is alone in bringing up a child that just losthis father; you turn and you are completely surrounded with men that have stepped up to the challenge.

Happy Father’s Day and Happy Gay Pride Month! It’s a double celebration in my family!