TRANSFORMING YOUR LIFE DAY BY DAY!!!

Friday, 27 June 2008

Take Charge

Have you ever noticed that most successful life changes (career/ relationship/ health/ financial etc) are made when there is no crisis? That's because in crises situations we act under pressure, our decision-making is often impaired AND our choices are limited. So what should you do when you have that vague feeling that something unpleasant is about to happen - but you're not exactly sure when, where or what is driving it? You can of course pick up a copy of our book Every Day Matters: how you can improve your life in 7 weeks or less available on Amazon.com and other major online bookstores but, in addition, here is a list of key success factors that may provide you some guidance: .
1. Stop worrying: let the past be just a memory and don't obsess about the future; it has too many variables to be predicted perfectly. Focus on the here and now - a sequence of good todays should add up to a tomorrow worth living for.

2. Believe in yourself: self confidence generates courage just when it's needed and thus is instrumental in helping you achieve your goals.

3. Make intuition your ally: learn to look beyond the words and shallow gestures and trust the sensations or the 'just know' within you. Pay attention to what your gut is telling you.

4. Develop in your mind an image of what you want to accomplish: sometimes framing a concept in words makes the idea too rigid but by focusing on a picture you actually invite your subconscious to play an active role in helping you materialize your vision.

5. Ask yourself what conventional wisdom would say - and then question that "wisdom" in order to add an element of creativity and out-of-the-box thinking to your plans.

By refusing to panic we actually empower ourselves to get into the drivers seat and may start making positive changes in our lives: before negative changes happen to us.

Dr. Dulnik @ 12:00 PM   1 comment

Tuesday, 06 May 2008

Yes You Can

Change is the only constant in life. We've all heard that expression before, we accept its wisdom, and yet many times we become resentful of the 'new' that is inherent in any change - even a positive change. New skills required for that promotion, a new adjustment period for that international assignment, new relationships to be built for a membership in the group we wanted to join...While this resistance may have many different sources, for many people it grows from a deep seated self limiting belief that adults are not good learners and therefore any exposure to what is new is risky at best and self-defeating at worst.
Although it is true that adults and children learn differently, it is not my intention here to outline the various theories but rather to share with you what I have found makes a difference and ultimately changes how my clients embrace new opportunities:

 

  • Find motivation for learning - ask yourself these simple questions: "what do I want to accomplish? what new skills will I need to acquire to help me get there? " That way you will be able to create a learning road-map for yourself that will break down an initially abstract, complex and potentially intimidating concept into something more workable and easier to manage. You will feel in charge.
  • If you want to improve or develop certain skills it is best to select trainings that requires active learning, this will provide the opportunity to practice what you learn.
  • Ask questions, ask questions and again ask questions. The most powerful question is the simple "why?".
  • Reject any preconceived notions you might have regarding learning capabilities of adults as well as your own learning potential. Instead, use the power of visualization to imagine yourself using your new skills in your life and in your career.

 

The world belongs to those who never cease to find new opportunities for growth and self-improvement while persevering to make their dreams come true.

Dr. Dulnik @ 17:59 PM   Add Comment

Wednesday, 21 November 2007

Core Abilities – Learning Effectively

As we discussed according to the Workplace Basics: The Skills Employers Want, the US core abilities –or the essential workplace skills that cut across all occupational titles in the country—include working productively, learning effectively, communicating clearly, working cooperatively, acting responsibly, valuing the self positively and thinking strategically (Milke). Generally, people who “learn effectively” take responsibility for their own learning. They listen carefully, organize the information, ask clarifying questions and follow instructions. They recognize the need for a lifelong learning. In addition, Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD proposes that effective learners possess the following characteristics: • To Learn, You Must Be Willing to Grow and to Experience. Learning often involves new skills, developing new behaviors. • Growth Involves the Entire Learner. If learning is to be more than collecting new information, then we must involve ourselves completely in our learning experiences. • Growth Requires Seeking Ongoing Feedback. Many of us do not know what we need to learn -- we don't know what we don't know. Therefore, feedback from others is critical to understanding ourselves and our performance • Trust Your Instincts to Learn. Learning doesn't come only from other people telling you what you need to know and how you need to learn it! The highly motivated, self-directed learner can make a "classroom of life". Everything becomes an experience and an opportunity from which to learn. Did you know? By learning and practicing new skills we develop new sustainable behavioral patters that can lead to improved careers and enhanced sense of self-competence.

Dr. Dulnik @ 18:02 PM   1 comment

Monday, 06 August 2007

Enhancing Your Career: Valuing the Self

As we discussed previously, according to Workplace Basics: The Skills Employers Want, US core abilities –or the essential workplace skills that cut across all occupational titles in the country—include working productively, learning effectively, communicating clearly, working cooperatively, acting responsibly, valuing the self positively and thinking strategically (Milke). According to Milke valuing the self positively means that “an individual applies the principles of physical and psychological wellness to his or her life”, which in essence is driven by a desire to maintain a positive and healthy self-image. Positive self-valuing helps individuals maintain an awareness of own talents, strengths and unique potential. Many studies link a positive self image to one’s ability to maintain high work productivity and to assume a consistently high level of personal responsibility. People who value themselves positively readily learn the skills that help them apply stress management skills to their daily activities and recognize the importance of a sense of humor to personal wellness. They tend to balance their family, work and personal growth needs and consistently enhance their own understanding of their personal goals and values as they relate to what they do professionally.

Dr. Dulnik @ 11:36 AM   Add Comment

Saturday, 09 June 2007

Workplace Advancement Essentials: Working Productively

As we discussed in the last E-Newsletter, according to the Workplace Basics: The Skills Employers Want the US core abilities –or the essential workplace skills that cut across all occupational titles in the country—include working productively, learning effectively, communicating clearly, working cooperatively, acting responsibly, valuing self positively and thinking strategically (Milke). The definition of WORKING PRODUCTIVELY is that "an individual possesses and applies effective work habits and attitudes within an organizational setting." The skills and attitudes related to working productively include: • Managing time and workload • Recognizing and applying quality procedures • Demonstrating dependability, accuracy and initiative • Handling responsibly; carrying out instructions and job requirements • Understanding of business principles, values and norms of the work culture • Commitment to personal effectiveness within the organization Moraine Park researchers behind the Workplace Basics note that from the employers’ perspective a negative attitude and poor work habits act as powerful deterrents to keeping a job—even if the credentials and the necessary technical skills are in place. Consistent demonstration of the core competencies , however, increases one’s desirability from the employers’ standpoint and may lead to a better career.

Dr. Dulnik @ 07:57 AM   Add Comment

Thursday, 24 May 2007

Enhancing Your Career: Workplace Basics

Core Abilities – Working Productively According to the Workplace Basics: The Skills Employers Want core abilities –the essential workplace skills that cut across all occupational titles in the US—include working productively, learning effectively, communicating clearly, working cooperatively, acting responsibly, valuing self positively and thinking strategically (Milke). The definition of WORKING PRODUCTIVELY is that "an individual possesses and applies effective work habits and attitudes within an organizational setting." The skills and attitudes related to working productively include: • Managing time and workload • Recognizing and applying quality procedures • Demonstrating dependability, accuracy and initiative • Handling responsibly; carrying out instructions and job requirements • Understanding of business principles, values and norms of the work culture • Commitment to personal effectiveness within the organization The Moraine Park researchers behind the Workplace Basics note that from employers’ perspective a negative attitude and poor work habits act as powerful deterrence to keeping a job—even if the credentials and the necessary technical skills are in place. Consistent demonstration of the core competencies, however, increases one’s desirability from the employers’ standpoint and may lead to a better career. We will discuss the rest of the competencies coming up soon. Cheers, Agata

Dr. Dulnik @ 08:45 AM   Add Comment

Tuesday, 24 April 2007

Hope Away!!!...

It is no secret that I'm a big fan of positive psychology as a tool for achieving life enjoyment and meaningful existence. As Seligman put it, “psychology is much larger then curing illness as it is about bringing out the best in people; it is about positive institutions and it is about strength of character”. The same way I belive that without hope coaching process is pointless and meaningless. Hope is an integral part of self-directed change and to me it is one of the key building blocks of our humanity. Our Careers Some might say that hope and organizations are remote concepts; based on my observations and personal experience I beg to differ. Lately in my readings I came across a wonderful book that supports this case: "Putting Hope To Work" (Hudson and Perry, 2006) talks about hope’s five principles; possibility, agency, worth, openness, and connection, as an instrumental force for delivering remarkable value to people, teams, and organizations. The authors argue that hope activates our deepest layers of motivation bringing about creativity and enhanced enthusiasm and capability to deliver results. I think that great leadership must convey a vision of hope for personal and organizational benefits in order to move people in a given direction. For example, organizations in crises seldom survive unless a sense of hope is conveyed to the workforce to help them work through organizational challenges while maintaining loyalty, commitment and productivity. Good leaders realize that emotions are contag Our Lives Outside of Work Emotions are fundamental to our experience of life. Hope, being one of the seven core human emotions, plays a uniquely positive role in our lives as a creative force and a source of resilience against life’s challenges. Hope, defined as an orientation towards a positive future that engages all aspects of our being, is a vital psychological resource in our lives; without it, there would be little to sustain us. There is no doubt that hope positively affects psychological and physical health. As an emotional state hope is more than optimism, which is understood as a deliberate thought pattern that leads to a positive attitude. Hope is said to reside in the golden mean, the way of reasonableness and wisdom between extremes that IS attainable to all of us. Hope is born in possibility and begins with a promise of growth that is built on motivation, feelings of self-worth and faith in change for the better. Celebrate hope today and see it transform your life into something better than you ( For the Soul “Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that?” -Unknown.

Dr. Dulnik @ 15:57 PM   Add Comment

Monday, 19 March 2007

On Civility

Benjamin Franklin urged us to be “civil to all, sociable to many, familiar with few, friend to one, enemy to none.” Although personally I believe that the more friends the richer the life I am also convinced that, once in a while, it is worthwhile to remind ourselves that 21st century man’s (and woman’s) sophistication level may well be measured by our determination to be civil in everything we do -- every day of our busy lives. Our Lives at Work Have you heard the expression “be nice to people on your way up because you might meet 'em on your way down” attributed to Mizner? Jokes aside, from the organizational point of view there is much more to civility than enlightened self-interest. In the past year or so both the Academy of Management, the International Journal of Human Resource Management, as well as other sources have all published studies which clearly show that organizations where civility is practiced as a core competence create workplace dynamics that ‘foster resilience, restoration, and strength.’ Research shows that in organizations where a broad-sense of politeness is widely cultivated, the effort pays off with higher employee commitment, improved creativity and less work time lost to name just a few of the many benefits – all ultimately exerting a positive influence on organizational performance. On the other hand incivility leads to a stressful work environment where employee commitment is substantially diminis Lives Outside of Work Scott Peck (1993) defined civility as the way people relate to other people, something far more complex than “a superficial politeness”. It begins with the core assumption that human beings matter and that being kind to one another is directly intertwined with our personal sense of ethics. For an adult, civility becomes a matter of personal choice and the expression of a well-developed character. When we practice civility on a daily basis we are more likely to build healthy relationships with others, decrease the level of self-induced stress and become better members of our respective communities. In a way –to paraphrase M. Gandhi—we can all then become a part of the change we want to see in the world. For the Soul Napoleon's arrogant army corps contemptuously referred to civilians as pequins(weaklings). Talleyrand once asked a certain general for an explanation of the term. "We call 'pequin'," the officer explained, "those who are not military." "Ah," Talleyrand replied, "just as we call 'military' those who are not civil."

Dr. Dulnik @ 16:56 PM   Add Comment

Wednesday, 07 Febuary 2007

A little bit of passion, anyone?....

Dear Friends, You may have heard it before: people who are happy live longer and, well - better than those, who are not. Newspaper and TV reports tells us that happy people are healthier and they accomplish more. Interestingly enough there is a growing body of scientific evidence that happiness and passion are closely related emotions and finding one is a sure sign that the other is not that far away.

I believe deeply that generalized passion is a prerequisite for people seeking a higher quality of life. Don’t know how to measure the level of passion in YOUR life? Let me help you by suggesting these four short questions to quickly assess your ‘overall passion level’.

1.  Do you wake up each morning energized by the upcoming day?

2. Are your work and daily activities the best expression of who you are?

3. Do people in your life have a keen awareness of how important they are to you?

4. Are your key relationships the best representation of what you think of yourself?

If you have answered ‘yes’ to all of these questions congratulations, passion for your work and your life is right at your doorstep so make the most of it. If not - read on, knowing that happiness and passion are learned skills, both very much within your reach.

Passion and work are usually viewed as two distinctly separate things. Yet should they be?... Ask yourself a question: would you do the work you currently do even if you did not get paid for it? If you said yes, you probably love your work and naturally strive to be the best at what you do. You do  have a solid foundation for achieving professional excellence! If your answer, however, is some shade of 'no' you may want to work on changing that.  

Without passion for your work you are likely to have less motivation to learn and to succeed. As a result, sooner or later, your career is likely to suffer. Yet you can rekindle your passion for work in a few simple steps. First, create a list of the positive aspects of what you do. Then separate those that you can't control and focus on the aspects of your work that you have a direct influence on. Visualize success in those areas; understand the gaps and change whatever is needed to make success happen. And, finally, take ownership of your work  and see it blossom for you.

 

 Passion for Life I think that passion is one of life’s greatest psychological states. It has an enormous capacity to lift us to new levels of enthusiasm, contentment and resilience. The pure energy of passion stimulates and empowers personal growth. When children are small they have an innate passion for living yet somewhere along the way we lose the ability to be charmed by the very fact of being alive. We no longer live our lives to the fullest but rather -regrettably- stumble along on auto pilot.

 I challenge you: reclaim your life! Reconnect with your values, rediscover who you are, fall in love with people around you once again, rekindle your interests, set up new goals and wake up each morning ready to embrace the upcoming day and to take on the world. YOUR World

 

 

Dr. Dulnik @ 19:53 PM   Add Comment

Wednesday, 03 January 2007

This can be your Year!..

A 2002 study* points to some very interesting observations regarding our -- well, let’s face it right on -- our inability to keep New Year's resolutions. It is estimated that 25% of New Year's resolutions will be abandoned in the first 15 weeks. On average we make 10 (!!!) New Year's resolutions and those who manage to make a resolution that lasts for 6 months or more have often tried 5 or 6 times before finally succeeding.

Yet, even with these discouraging statistics I believe that you and anyone else can make 2007 the most successful year ever (yes, really) by simply following my straightforward recommendations:

• MAKE THEM YOURS: By choosing resolutions that are meaningful to you --as opposed to other people in your life you may want to please --you will have greater ownership and commitment to change, making it that much easier to succeed.

• QUALITY VERSUS QUANTITY: Resist the common temptation to try to change everything that you think does not work in your life all at once. Selecting more than two or three goals is a sure way to set yourself up for a failure. And each time you fail it may be a bit harder to finally win. However, even small changes in the right direction can add up to big improvements down the road.

• ENSURE YOUR GOALS ARE SMART: Borrowing the popular management technique that helps organizations effectively deliver on their objectives will enable you to create well designed goals. SMART goals should be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time based. For example: I will loose 10 pounds in 6 months.

• REACH OUT TO OTHER PEOPLE AS YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM: Know when to reach out to other people to help you meet your resolutions. With that said, however, do not make your friends or your family responsible for your goals: ultimately, it is you who is in charge and has all the accountability!

• BE FLEXIBLE: Know when to change or abandon a goal when circumstances change. By focusing on what is meaningful to you in your life you will be less likely to mechanistically follow a path that is no longer suitable or valid.

Every New Year lures us with the promise of a fresh start and new opportunities. With the end of each the old year and the beginning of a new we symbolically close on what went wrong in the past. We take lessons from what could have gone better and we hope to continue counting our blessings in the future. So embrace 2007 with enthusiasm, hope and the determination to make it what you want it to be. After all, at the bottom of our hearts, we know that Every Day Matters!

*Polivy, Janet, Herman, C. Peter."If at First You Don't Succeed." American Psychologist Sept. 2002: 677-689.

Best Wishes,

Agata Dulnik, Ed.D.

Certified Personal and Executive Master Coach

 

 

Dr. Dulnik @ 22:34 PM   Add Comment

Thursday, 07 December 2006

MAKE THIS YOUR WORLD

Regardless of which region of the world you or your family came from, regardless of what language or dialect you use at home, the truth of the matter is that we all are in this country today to make a dream come true

 

 A dream of a better life – solid career, good family, nice house… A dream worth chasing, and worth fighting for. But as with any dream, sometimes we just stop believing it will come true and begin to doubt we or whoever brought us here had the dream at all! My message to you is this--don’t give up! The secret of success is not as difficult as one would think. It is not based on some hush-hush formula, either… Rather, it is based on SKILLS – things you can learn to become more effective within your own reality and to emerge in control of your own destiny.

 

Sounds good?...Great—the plan is that in this blog we will discuss particular aspects of success; both on the home-front and in the workplace. For one, I will provide short ‘food for thought’ articles designed to help all of you, in general terms, move forward in your life and in your jobs. You also may ask questions to which I will respond with advice and recommendations but, remember, it is ultimately your responsibility to make your dream come true for you and for those you love.

 

 In some way we all will be joining forces to chase your dreams—together. I certainly look forward to this adventure...

 

All my best, Agata

Owner @ 11:03 AM   1 comment

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Name: Dr. Dulnik
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Dr. Agata Dulnik is a president and owner of Executive Value Solutions, LLC in Glastonbury, CT. She is a transformative management consultant and a top executive and life coach. In addition, Agata serves as an adjunct faculty of the School of Business at the University of Hartford, teaching courses of managing diversity. Her first book, Every Day Matters: How You Can Improve Your Life in 7 Weeks or Less, is sold through Amazon.com and other major booksellers.

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