The four basic tenets of the RF Method are:

1.      Reconnect—Focus

2.      Recommit—Focus

3.      Rediscover—Focus

4.      Reengage—Focus

After each step you see the word “Focus” because each time you reconnect, recommit, rediscover or reengage you need to refocus on your dream!

Reconnecting. It is extremely important that we understand the “why” behind our dreams. Otherwise we end up wondering whether we are leading our lives or our lives are leading us. Once you have truly identified the “why,” you can reconnect to your life goals. We all sway from our original dreams—we change our minds and we rethink what we want from life. It’s only natural. Reconnecting with what we want in the here and now serves to remind us what we are capable of and what we deserve from life.

Refocusing. Now that you have reconnected with your past, your goals, and your dreams, it’s time to refocus. We must clearly see what it is we want, and we must make mental and physical efforts to get there. Success requires purpose, and it is only by focusing that we can harness that purpose and make it work for us. We must recognize why we are drawn to a certain journey in life, and we must not be swayed from our mission. We must see the tree, we must focus on the tree, and we must now recommit our individual steps.

Recommitting. Many times we allow the fear of failure to take us out of the game. Then all of a sudden we find ourselves losing that focus we worked so hard on. Life is so full of distractions that giving into the chatter can literally mean the end of your aim. When this happens, you must force yourself to get back in the game, which can be difficult. It takes a will of steel and a renewed effort to reconnect, refocus, and recommit. Assess the results you have seen so far and celebrate them. Assess your failures, forgive yourself, learn from them, and move on.

When you allow yourself to accept that you were able to create success then, you realize that you can create success in the situation you are in NOW. That’s when you’re able to ACT. That’s when you’re able to MOVE. I reflect, I listen to my inner voice, and then I perform. Use this exercise to get through difficult times! Return to your “success” list now, and allow your mind to open to your potential greatness. Run through the list and try to remember any detail of the event you can. The more details you can remember about your success, the more you can duplicate that success.

Reaching success is a constant redirection of our goals. The RF Method of success will allow you to stay focused, even during the most turbulent times. When you find yourself in a place where you feel lost, like you are failing, like you are disconnected from your goals, take a few minutes and reconnect to the reason you are attempting that goal in the first place.

Reengaging in our dreams and goals is imperative. All along life’s travels, people will say, “You can’t.” Your friends and family may not understand your dreams; they may be afraid for you. But the truth of the matter is, it is not their wall to climb. It is yours. So keep on climbing!

Self-leadership and responsibility are by far the greatest lessons we can learn in creating the results we are looking for in our lives. Our world today is full of finger pointing. Maybe it’s always been that way. The general thinking is that anything that goes wrong is everyone’s fault but our own.

Self-leadership takes the responsibility for success out of the hands of people and things outside of us and places it where it belongs—in our hands. When we become aware of this, we can then see that all lessons in life are for our greater understanding of greater goals.

Rediscover your passion. Rediscover the greatness in you that created results in the past. Re-identify with the powerful you—the one who began this journey in the first place—the one who had enough passion to form a powerful dream.

In order to nurture your passion, you must rediscover yourself every day. Without passion, it is nearly impossible to remain motivated. Without passion, it is very difficult to recruit the help you need on your journey, too, for passion is contagious.

We are all going to be distracted from time to time. The goal is to indentify and then act, when you know you are off track. If used properly the RF Method can help guide and keep you focused. The more you use this method the more certainty you will find in reaching your life goals! Adelante!

Daniel Gutierrez

The Seven Golden Rules

Along life’s path, with all of its ups and downs, I have stuck to seven golden rules to help me keep moving forward. In previous chapters I described in detail what my days were like while trying to plan a major event. You saw the ups and downs very clearly! By including my journals of that time, I wanted to give you a real look at what chasing a dream looks like. I will never tell you that chasing your dreams is easy, but I will say that we all have the capacity to do so! The golden rules below will help you on your way.
 
Following your dreams is never easy. But think about the regrets you’d have if you reached the end of your life without having tried.

Rule 1: Let Go of Your Limited Beliefs
As a young boy, I started out life believing that I was a failure because I had let my mother down. The truth of the matter was, I was just a little boy! What could I have done? In those days, there were no 911 operators to call. In order to become successful, I had to let go of the belief that I was a failure, and I had to replace it with a positive affirmation: I loved my mother and I had done the best I could. What is your limited belief about yourself? Write it down on a sheet of paper, and then counter that belief with something positive. You may have ten of them, and you might just have one. Use the model below.
 - Limited belief
 - Positive affirmation

Once you do this, hang the sheet of paper where you can see it every day. In combination with the mirror exercise, continue to remind yourself about all of your positive attributes until you really believe them!

Rule 2: Let Go of the Past
This step may take some time and patience, but it is a necessary step if you want to move forward and create the type of life you are dreaming of.
On a very hot summer day I attended a seminar that forced me to deal with the feelings I had for my father. Boy, did I feel the heat. I hadn’t seen him in decades, and I had only one memory of him: the dreadful night when he tried to kill my mother. I had never been to his grave, and before that day I didn’t even care. This seminar changed everything, though. I was now compelled to meet my father. I called my sister the next day, and she mailed me the location of the place where my dad had been buried in Homestead, Florida.
 
With some encouragement from some very good friends, I bought a ticket to Homestead. I had never been there, and I had no idea what to expect. I was admittedly very scared and very nervous about making the trip. It was a long trip to my past so that I could confront the father I never knew and I could ask the question, Why?
 
The day I was due to leave, I had my friends take me to the airport just to make sure I actually got on the flight. I was afraid I would chicken out if I didn’t have someone to hold me accountable. When the moment came, and I was on my way to Florida to face my past, I knew there was no going forward until I was able to deal with the haunting questions I needed to ask. When I arrived, it the air was oppressively humid. I was tired because I had taken a red-eye and traveled all night. But the fear and excitement kept my adrenaline pumping. I looked at a map and saw that the cemetery was a 45-minute drive south. For a split-second, I thought about taking the car back and getting on the plane back to L.A. Instead I moved forward. What happened that day would change my life forever.

I pulled into the cemetery parking lot. There was one problem. How would I find my father in this huge place? I sat in the car with tears welling up in my eyes wondering what to do. Suddenly there was a man at my window. In an authoritative voice he asked, “May I help you, son?” I almost rubbed my eyes like a disbelieving cartoon character. There, standing in front of me, was the priest who worked at the grounds chapel. I identified him as a priest because he wore a white clerical collar and a black suit. It just so happened that he was there meeting with a family. The fact that he was a priest gave me great comfort. I looked at him like the five-year old boy I’d once been who’d lost his father. “I’m looking for my daddy. Can you help me?” I managed. He smiled warmly. “Of course, son,” he replied. Then he led me to the office so the clerk could look up the name.
 
After some time she located his plot and asked me if I wanted help finding his grave, and then walked me there. It seemed like hours had passed as we crossed the grass; in reality, it was only minutes. I decided to wait before I approached the gravesite. The kind woman told me where I could find her if I needed anything and left me for some private time.
It took me a while to gather my courage. Thirty minutes later, I took the first step. Soon I was reading his name: John Victor Gutierrez.

I just stared, and then I began to cry—the tears of a lost little boy. Standing there, I was five years old again, and I let my emotions and questions pour forth: “Where were you when I needed you most?” I whispered. Then my voice got louder. “Why the hell were you so mean to my mother?” I sat down, suddenly exhausted. Then it happened; the moment that changed everything. All of a sudden, I realized that I had become the man that I’d always wanted to be. There I was, a grown man. I dried my tears and I just talked to my dad as if he was right there listening. I told him how proud he would be.

Time had stopped for me, and then I realized that I had come on this long journey not to find my dad but to find myself. The tears flowed again as all those years of hate turned to love. My pain dissipated and I forgave him, and in that forgiveness I forgave myself as well.

I pulled the vase off of his gravestone and I dusted it off. I wanted to leave him better than I had found him. I had passed a Wal-Mart on the way, so I got in my car, went to the store, and bought him some silk flowers so that he would always have them. As I was leaving the store, I looked over to my right and saw a brightly colored bird on a stick with wings that rotated in the wind. I smiled inside and bought the bird, too.
 
I drove back to the cemetery filled with excitement over my profound discovery of forgiveness, but that wasn’t the last surprise of the day. I returned to his grave and placed the flowers in the vase. The day had been very still, with no wind at all, but when I put the bird in the vase, as soon as I let go, the wind picked up and the wings on the bird began to “fly.” In the quiet cemetery, the only sound I heard was that of the bird’s wings. I smiled and said, “I hear you, Daddy.” It was as if he was saying, “I’m proud of you, son,” something I had longed to hear for so many, many years.
For the first time in my life, I was glad that he had been born. For if he hadn’t, neither would I! Everyone has a purpose on this earth, and I believe his was to have three children: me, my brother, and my sister. I realized in that moment that his life echoed through me. It was now my purpose on this earth to change lives. He would always live through me.

I flew back the next morning. As I was reading the paper, I realized that the day before had been Father’s Day. It had escaped my mind completely. I silently cried again as the plane taxied down the runway, taking me back to Los Angeles a changed man. “Happy Father’s Day, Dad,” I prayed.
Letting go of the past breaks the chains that bind us. It frees us so that we can find the true purpose of our lives. What are you harboring in your past? Isn’t time you let it go? In the space below, write down the things from your past that keep you from stepping into your greatness.
 
Rule 3: Take Charge of Your Thinking
If you say to yourself, “I can’t,” then you’re right. If you say to yourself, “I can,” you’re also right! The power of thought is so immense it can direct the course of your life.
 
Many times we find ourselves in places that are undesirable, and we wonder how we got there. I would say that our thoughts have a lot to do with it. Our internal dialogue plays an essential role in our pursuit of success, determining not only our ability to reach success but to keep it.

What you say to yourself dictates your future.
I was asked by a friend to read the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. When I saw the book title I automatically said to myself, “What a scam! No one can think and grow rich!” As a result of that thinking, I decided not to take my friend’s advice. Later, down the road, when I was going through some tough times. I was desperate to try anything that would get me out of the funk I was in. I remembered the book my friend had mentioned, and I went and bought it. It was the best $5.95 I ever spent, and I still read it on a monthly basis.

What I learned was: We do have the power of thought. It is the one thing that separates us from animals and the one thing that separates us from our fellow man.

Here’s an example: In 2002, I was invited to attend a business gala in Los Angeles. I was very excited to be included in such a prestigious event, which was held at the Century City Westin Plaza Hotel. I asked my girlfriend to attend with me, and she put on her best dress, while I donned a fancy black tuxedo. Off I went, with the idea that I would meet people who would surely further my career. That excitement was quashed when we arrived and were assigned table 56. I looked everywhere for table 56. When I finally found it, it was tucked so far back in the room it might as well have been in the kitchen. My seat actually abutted the back wall.

As we sat down, my date said, “I guess you aren’t as important as you thought.” I could have let the comment ruin my night, but I didn’t. Instead I looked at the other couple at the table and I said, “Do you know that you are sitting at the most important table in the room?” They looked at me as if I’d lost my mind. I wasn’t done, though. “Mark my words. The next time I am in this room, I will be the master of ceremonies!” They just smiled warily, probably hoping I’d shut up. That night George Lopez and Selma Hayek entertained us, and we enjoyed a nice dinner.
 
Two years later, I received a letter from that same business organization asking me to be a master of ceremonies for their next event! As I read the letter, I leaned back and remembered the comment I’d made to those incredulous strangers.

On the night of the event, the lights were dimmed and the energy was high. As our host announced that Daniel Gutierrez would be the master of ceremonies, I stepped on stage and looked at the table at the back of the room where I’d been seated before and smiled to myself. I’d done it; I’d made my dreams come true
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EXERCISE: YOUR INTERNAL DIALOGUE

In the spaces below, write down the internal dialogue you have regarding the five areas of your life indicated. Next, write down a new, more positive internal dialogue. This exercise will make you more aware of your thoughts and will allow you to make changes toward creating the success you seek.
 - Personal
 - Work/Career
 - Education
 - Relationships
 - Financial
 
You need to pay diligent attention to your internal dialogue. When a thought comes into your mind that is not in alignment with what you really want, you must stop immediately and veto that thought. Change it before it takes over! This takes practice, so don’t give up!

Rule 4: Let Go of Your Need to Be Right
We can all have what we want if we can let go of what we think something is “supposed” to look like.

When I was producing Imagine 2002, one of the things I had to do was to let go of being right about what the event was supposed to look like. I needed to learn to be more flexible—to change what I had in my mind in order to get what I wanted.

Sometimes we hang on to our beliefs so tightly that our need to be right becomes more important than the actual results we are looking for. Our businesses, our dreams, and our relationships with others need room to modify and grow. Allow them that freedom!

Take a look at the different areas in your life. Are you getting the results you are looking for? If not, is the problem that your need to be right is overriding everything else?

Below, write down the things you perceive as “right.” Then, after some thought, write down ways you can compromise and expand your horizons.

EXERCISE: LETTING GO
 - Personal
 - Work/Career
 - Education
 - Relationships
 - Financial

Rule 5: Be the Cause of Your Life
We live in a world where we want everything brought to us. It’s as if we sit back in our chairs and expect life to “do us” instead of “us doing life.”
In order for you to reach the level of success that you desire, you must get off the couch and be the cause of your life. In other words, it’s up to YOU to make things happen. So many people like to say, “When this happens, I will do so-and-so, and when that happens, I’ll do x, y, and z. Then they wonder why the world is not coming to them.
 
This world operates on universal laws, one being that action creates an equal or opposite reaction. If you sit on your couch waiting all day for the phone to ring, what will you get? Your house repossessed! If there is no action in your life, you must create it yourself. When I decided that I was going to run that 880-yard race in high school, I didn’t wait for the coach to ask. I took it upon myself to get the right shoes and jump right in. When I decided that I wanted to finance the Mexican nationals in my Best Buy store, I didn’t wait for someone to ask me. Instead, I began researching and I began moving toward my goal.

If you have an idea you want to bring to market, do it! If you want to attend a particular school but have not been asked, apply! If you want to date more, then start asking more people! Take some risks! Self-leadership requires that we be willing to create and attract the things that are not coming to us. What are you waiting for?

Rule 6: Be Committed to Your Dreams
We always get what we are committed to. Can you remember the last time you really wanted something and got it? It was because you really were committed to that goal. When we are committed to our goals, we will stop at nothing. If we are not committed, any hurdle that comes our way will deter us. In other words, life isn’t a hobby—it’s a commitment.

EXERCISE: GOALS AND COMMITMENT

Make a list of all the goals you have reached because you were committed to your dreams. I was committed to having the Imagine 2002 event happen no matter what the sacrifice was. All of us have goals we have reached that took commitment. Look at the list and rate yourself from 1 to10 on the level of commitment you had to get to your goal. You will find in that list the answer to reaching your goals and stepping into your greatness.

Rule 7: Associate with Positive People
This one never ceases to amaze me. People will complain about the company they keep, and then they keep going back to the same crowd. We must consistently surround ourselves with people who support our dreams and goals, and we must let go of those who cannot.
I have a system I call purging. Once a month, I go through my business cards and relationships and I toss out any that aren’t working for me or for them. In other words, you must take a look at your relationships and identify people who, for the most part, waste your time and energy. Purge those individuals or companies! Stop trying to pursue them. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t speak to those contacts again; it simply means that you should stop wasting valuable effort. Then look for new relationships to replace the ones you have ended.

I had a friend come to me once when I was upset. I had complained to him about new friends and business partners I was pursuing. He looked at me and said, “Daniel, I have known you for a long time, and I have been through thick and thin with you. Am I not a good friend?” I replied, “Of course, you’re a great friend. But there is a difference in the way you support me. You support me where I’m at, and they support me in where I want to go. I need people to support me in my greatness.”

Sometimes, it is even our friends and family that we need to be able to let go of in order to get to where we need to go. To this day, my family doesn’t understand everything I do. That’s okay! I love them anyway, and I keep on reaching for my goals so that the entire world can benefit from my desire to inspire and motivate.

Self-leadership is about taking personal responsibility and making necessary changes in your life. It’s about thinking outside the box, examining your interior, purging what holds you back, and never saying never.

I was sitting next to a man that had just heard me speak at a conference, and he said “You know, Daniel, I was thinking about these people in our lives that really just really bring us down and thought of my barber. I hate going to him. He is complaining all day long about life. Yet I find myself going to him every six weeks! I realized today when you talked about purging that I could find another barber to go to.”

We all have people like this in our lives. I encourage you to make a list of all the people in your life that you interact with in your personal life and in business. Take a hard look at these people and decide whether they need to be purged and a new relationship be put in their place. Remember that successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do.